Today’s a hard day.
Today’s a dark day.
Today I can’t see past my pain or my tears.
Today basic things are hard,
Like rolling out of bed,
My strength has failed me, completely.
The devil isn’t playing,
I’m under attack.
You Lord say to me
“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13
Curled up in a blob in my room,
From the lowest, deepest, rawest part of my heart.
I cry to You.
Jesus I cannot do this alone.
Friends, if you’re reading this, I just want to share with you what God told me, here, at my lowest, right now.
He whispered in my ear - He who has promised is faithful.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23
He didn’t stop there, He reminded me again and again and again. My child. I am faithful. Look. See. Behold. Remember.
"But God, my faith is gone, my heart is weak..."
“If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.” II Timothy 2:13
"But God the devil is hot on my tail, I don’t know if I can go any further..."
“But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.” II Thessalonians 3:3
"But God, I’m a mess, I’m not even worthy to call on Your name..."
“Your mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Your righteousness is like the great mountains; Your judgments are a great deep; O LORD, You preserve man and beast. How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.” Psalms 36:5-9
In the midst of our darkness and pain it is so hard to see God, to look up and behold His character. He knew we would struggle, forget and waver so He proved Himself to us time and time and time again.
He saved Noah and his family from destruction, He made a way through the Red Sea for Moses, He performed the ultimate rescue for Rahab, He provided in an impossible situation for Abraham and not only that, He also died to save you and me.
Not one thing God promised to do has ever failed. Not one thing that God has said will come to pass has not come to pass. Not one promise that God has given is fake. He who promised is faithful.
Whatever pain you are going through, be comforted in this, the God you serve is faithful.
Alongside leading me to His Word, God also leads me to music; songs with words that gently soothe my broken places. Here are two songs that I want to share with you. Meditate on the words and pour out your heart to God.
If you're struggling with your mental health and wellbeing at this time, please check out the resources in our other blog post - The mental health struggle.
Please don't suffer in silence. Seek help.