Have you ever wanted to deactivate all your social media accounts? Drastic? Maybe. Or maybe like me you’re just tired? Tired of seeing so many people living the life you thought God had planned out for you.
What's your instagram feed filled with? These days all I see is people buying houses, getting married and landing that dream job. All things I am not experiencing in my own life. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not where I thought I'd be and if I'm honest, that's a hard pill to swallow!
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a fashion designer. Ever since I was 6 years old I wanted to make clothes. I started with dolls, It moved up to teddies, then making items for myself and then it moved on to real life paying humans.
I remember being invited to showcase my clothes at a fashion show a few years ago. It was a significant event, my dad had even paid to be a sponsor to get me into the show!
I summoned my best friend as my assistant and rocked up feeling excited and confident only to find another designer who also had clothing similar to mine. I felt small and insignificant. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then! I watched as the models were excited to try on the other designers garments and how they marvelled at every outfit combination.
I felt disappointed in myself, in my designs.
“Why couldn’t I have been the one to design clothes like that?“,
“Laura, you need to up your game”,
"After seeing those clothes no-one will care about yours."
Thoughts of doubt penetrated my mind and plagued my insides. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. As proud as I felt as my garments paraded the runway, I couldn't shake the lies i'd built up in my mind. I left that event feeling empty and useless.
I had a call with someone I loved and respected a few days after the show. It was obvious to see something was bothering me so I opened up. I'll never forget the three questions she asked me in response to my insecurities:
Were those clothes actually better than yours?
What made them better than yours?
If you had the chance to would you really have designed those clothes?
I struggled to give a straight answer.
Better is subjective. I had nothing to base my insecurities on and if I was completely honest with myself, the clothes the designer made were beautiful but they weren’t in keeping with the values I had chosen for my brand.
I fell prey to comparison.
But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load. - Galatians 6:4-5
It dawned on me, if God wanted me to be just like someone else, wouldn’t he have just made me that way? There will always be competition, it’s a part of life. There will always be someone better than you, someone doing more than you, someone at a different stage in life to you. But none of that defines you.
Your best friend getting married, does not invalidate your singleness. If you're still working to get that dream job while the other graduates in your class have already 'made it', that doesn't mean you're a failure. If people younger than you are already buying their first house, it doesn't mean you're being left behind.
Don't let perfectly posed photos, on perfectly composed grids, in a curated feed distract you from your purpose.
“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.” - Bob Goff
Your journey is unique. Don’t let the devil rob you of what makes you special. God has not called you to a life of comparison because He cares about you as an individual. He has a purpose and a plan specifically each of us.
Don't let comparison, the thief of joy consume you. Instead choose to live in the purpose God has for you.