This blog post is a bit different to the last. I’m letting you into my world and i’m sharing with you the journal entry I wrote before appearing on BBC One.
Lord, I’m 11 minutes away from getting in a taxi and being transported to the BBC.
”“Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.“ - Isaiah 43:18-19
Today feels like one of those days Lord, where You have made a road in the wilderness and a river in the desert. I don't even know what I'm going to say today. I'm exhausted, I'm tired, and I'm getting slightly nervous, but I am so very grateful for the opportunity You have presented before me. Lord, as I go forwards and do Your work, I just ask that You bless me in this space. I ask that You guide me and protect me. I ask that You do whatever it is You want to do in me. Lord, may my life be a witness to others. Of all the Christian clothing brands in the UK, why is mine the one being picked? What is it about me, Lord? Show me, guide me, teach me, bless me. I can't do this without You. I am so excited to see what You do in me, for me, through me, around me, and beside me. ❤️ You are everything to me. I give You glory, I give You honour, I give You praise! May You be blessed in everything. Thank You so much for this opportunity.
”“You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.“ - Matthew 5:14
Stay Lit Apparel started because You are the one who inspired me to do it. I ask that You go before me and in the same way that You inspire speakers to share Your word on the pulpit, inspire me to share Your Word on TV. You are taking me to places I never even knew existed, especially in the Christian space. I love You so much Lord. Thank You for being my Lord and my Saviour, Amen.
How did this even happen? It’s simple really. I gave God my yes. From the outside looking in, people might see this big shot entrepreneur, with lots of money and millions of sales (not true by the way). The reality is i’m just a sinner saved by grace, with a heart willing to do what God asks.
Walking through the doors of BBC didn’t make me feel important or special. I don’t think I even had chance to process what was actually happening. My friend Marthe met me at the studio and offered to be my PR manager for the day. (Side note: When God blesses you with godly friends, hold onto them. Their support and love is one of the ways God reminds us He’s there!) After a quick glass of water I was mic’ed up and placed on the set in an “x marks the spot” fashion.
I wore my fruit of the spirit sweatshirt with such joy and behind me proudly stood, an intricately decorated mannequin with the producers sweatshirt choice, Jesus chose me. There was not much time for pleasantries and we soon got to work recording. I had no idea what to do with my hands, I really didn’t know what I wanted to say either so I let God lead.
We wrapped things up in a couple of takes, us as designers had two run throughs and the second was the winner. If i’m honest, I remember rolling my eyes, stumbling on my words and feeling like the first take was so much better but there was nothing I could do. The producer was happy and although I felt inadequate, I got a cheeky photo and thanked everyone for the opportunity.
On my way home, I messaged the infamous family group chat. “Guys, What’s done is done there’s nothing I can do about it 😂”. There was laughter yet disappointment in my message. I felt like I hadn’t done enough, like i’d wasted the opportunity. Yet as families do, they reassured me and spread the word far and wide. Stay Lit Apparel is going to be on TV!
When the moment came for the debut, I was on the train with dodgy wifi, the connection cutting in and out but I managed to catch it. As I watched the snippet, I saw all the things I feared in my mannerisms and speech come to life. Horrified all I could do was pray. “Jesus, when I look at this video, all I see is my imperfections but I recognise that it was never about me and always about You. I guess if things would have been perfect it would have gone to my head, so maybe it’s exactly how its meant to be. May You be glorified, Amen”
As I finished my prayer, a Facetime call came through, my siblings, beaming with joy as they shared their love and appreciation for how proud of me they were. Even my 1 year old niece joined in shouting “yay”, “my g!”
Floods of images, messages, tags and comments lit up my phone to the point where I had to use the do not disturb feature! My business mentor from seven years ago, my mums friends, friends of friends, their relatives, and their friends. People I went to school with, church family, professional contacts, you name it. People saw it!
It was then I realised, all God ever wanted from me was my yes. Just like He told Moses, He didn’t need me to have eloquent speech. Just like with the disciples, He didn’t need me to have a specific qualification and just like Abraham’s story, God’s timing was perfect.
1 Samuel 15:22 - And Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.
Psalm 119:30 - I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me.
If no-one has ever told you before, God wants your willing and obedient heart. He might ask you to serve in your local church. You might be given the task of ministering to those in your neighbourhood. You might be sent halfway across the world to serve in a remote village or maybe God just wants you to live out your life authentically for Him right where you are now.
Part of being a Christian is going to places we may not expect, trusting the process and being willing to surrender our will to God in order to give His plan our yes. Let me leave you with this, are you ready and willing to give your all to Him?
What does surrender look like in your life? How have you given God your yes recently? Share your “yes God” moments in the comments below.