I’m sure most of us can relate to having some sort of struggle with self esteem and self worth. Sometimes it stems from past experiences, other times generational cycles, keeping bad company and/or simply us believing lies the devil bombards us with.
Just 6 days before my 26th birthday I received some information that challenged who I was. It challenged my worth, the way I saw myself and even the things I believed. I've always found processing my emotions quite difficult, but the shock of this was different. The only way I can explain it is by saying it threw my entire life out of balance. I felt myself completely losing control.
I tried so hard to fix everything, to make sense of what was going on in my brain. I tried to get my head around the complicated mess that just seemed to get more and more tangled, but I just couldn’t. I didn't want to eat, I had no reason to smile. Laughter was put on hold and slowly I stopped recognising myself. The person I thought I was, the person I wanted to be, I couldn't find her and I didn't know how to be her.
I didn’t want to talk about the pain I was feeling inside, the emotional loss I was experiencing that was manifesting as a physical pain. I just wanted to curl up in a ball, sit in a dark room and cry. I longed to be thrown in a pit like Joseph. I wanted the world to end, the sky to fall down and the truth to be a lie. I was a whole mess.
In the midst of everything the main thought on my mind was - I am not enough
LIES, LIES, LIES. The devil was selling me lies, feeding me lies for breakfast and I was so weak I believed every word he said.
...and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:26
The devil is always trying to lie to us, always. That's what he does, he gets us tangled in his web of lies until we believe them as truth and instead of running towards God, we start running away from Him in fear that we are too far gone.
In the frantic rush of trying to fix a mess I hadn't even created, expected or asked for, I tried to force my healing.
With my birthday round the corner I thought the best thing to do was to try and tell myself
a) that I was fine and
b) that I was very fine.
I literally thought I could erase a traumatic life event in 6 literal days! (Who did I think I was? God? Only He can create order out of chaos in 6 days!)
I remember listening to a sermon by one of my favourite speakers, Dee Casper in which he pointed out three important things. God believes all things, hopes and endures all things in us.
When God sees us He doesn’t see us for what we are but sees us for what we can be in Him.
That’s not where it ends...the devil sees it too! He sees our potential, he sees more in us than we see in ourselves, crazy right? He has made it his job to try and distract us from our purpose and from reaching our potential through Christ. He knows that with God we are steadfast (Psalm 112:7) and immovable. He knows that with God our weakness becomes strength (2 Corinthians 12:9) and he also knows that with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
One day, as I was voice noting one friend the truth in my heart slipped out:
”I’m struggling to see how I’m enough, I can’t understand it. I don’t feel like I’m enough, how will I ever be enough? I’m trying to fight it but the lie is still there haunting me trying to become reality and truth!”
I wasn’t expecting the response I got:
”Laura, Laura, Laura Jane, Laura Jane, Laura Jane, YOU ARE ENOUGH! Christ said so. If you were not enough He would not have done what he did for you on the cross. You are worth dying for. God says you are more than enough don‘t ever let anyone tell you otherwise! Don’t you dare believe that lie! You are enough!“
Woah! Just woah! It was exactly what I needed to hear. God knows what we need when we need it and He knows exactly how to deliver it too.
Have you ever been told something you already knew, that for some reason, in that very moment, felt like something you were hearing for the very first time? I don’t even know if that makes sense but that’s exactly how it felt.
I knew Christ died for me, I knew God loved me, I knew God had a plan for me, but for some reason I allowed and sometimes still allow Satan to distort the promises God gives that are sure and true.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love! God used my friend to remind me of something special, the fact that with Him. I am more than enough.
Christ + Me = More than enough
I don't think God allows us to go through seasons for no reason. Actually one of my favourite ever T-shirt designs was born from this experience. It’s nothing fancy or elaborate, it’s simple and understated. It literally reads ‘God says you are more than enough’.
It's God's love letter to me. I even decided to place the print on the left side so it's somewhat close to the heart. The idea behind this print is that every time I, or anyone wearing it looks in the mirror, they read it as if God is speaking directly to their heart.
The evening my friend sent that voice note, I opened my Bible for the first time in a while and asked God to show me Himself that I was enough. He led me to these verses. Have a read through and know that each one applies specifically to your life. Pray each one over your situation. Commit them to memory and let God show you how He sees you.
Bible Verses To Remind Yourself "You Are Enough"
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Psalm 139:14-16
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.
“I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
It’s been a weird period in history for us all, I don’t know what highs or lows you’ve experienced but the Stay Lit Apparel team want to pray for you. Our inbox is open so please comment, DM or email your requests. Prayer changes things!